My vagina made me do it.

So Dude was a vegan baker and a massage therapist. He appears to work maybe 4 days a month or so.
I envy his lifestyle.

We went to Sample on Smith st. I realized at about 5pm what a dick I am, taking who is most likely a vegan to a cheese bar.
Oh well.

I showed up super early. I had almost finished my glass of Cava before he got there. And when he arrived, he was very quiet. So much so that I was nervous, and sputtered out all kinds of verbal diarrhea. He had been a psychology major in college.

Lucky bastard.

He kept telling me to relax. He was very soft spoken.

I had another glass of Cava, and we ordered the feta stuffed peppers.
Then all of a sudden, he decided he was all set with the bar.

We were going to walk the promenade, but it was raining too heavily. So then he invited himself to my place.
I kind of wanted him to leave, so I could get my Chinese food and smoke my ganja.
But he ended up tagging along.
So he comes back to my place, and he asks me to turn on music. I refuse because I want him to leave. Also I am lazy. But then I get up and put on the Otis.
After a while he admits he also smokes the marijuanas. 
I pack a bowl, and we have at it.
After a while, P-Funk came on. All I could think about was how weird this fucking date was.

Who, on a first date, invites themselves to someone’s house (I’ve done it) plunks down to some elderberry syrup and smokes some weed? (Again, me.)

So the paranoia starts setting in.
He’s SO quiet!!!!
Why doesn’t he say anything?!!
Doesn’t he notice my staring at him in hopes that he’ll leave?!!!
He’s thinking about murdering me! I know it!

I kept picturing him lunging at and strangling me. Maybe ripping my throat out with his teeth.

I dropped a few hints about being tired, which he took no notice of.

I finally just said “Soooooo….I’m going to go to sleep!”

He finally gets up and gets ready to leave. I knew he thought I was going to kiss him. I was certain he was going to massacre me.

I let him hug me super awkwardly.

I immediately locked the door behind him.

I don’t expect a phone call, which probably means I’ll be getting one.